Kworld Trend / i just found out my husband is leaving me after i give birth reddit, Like many women, I went into super mom-to-be mode as soon as I learned that I was pregnant. My husband and I had experienced a miscarriage in the early weeks of our first-ever pregnancy a year before, and I’d endured a couple of operations that were related to that heartbreaking setback. But we tried again, and it was with a mixture of hope, trepidation and excitement that I forged ahead as we prepared for our baby.
i just found out my husband is leaving me after i give birth reddit
With each passing week and every check-up and sonogram, I breathed a little easier, knowing that our baby was growing bigger and stronger. I devoured information about how to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, scouring websites and bookstore shelves in search of information on the latest research, advice and tips. I hit health foods stores and filled my cart with organic and nutritious foods to make sure my growing baby would get the very best nourishment to help him grow healthy and strong. I went into nesting mode — just like the experts said I would! — and decorated my son’s room with the highest safety-rated furniture and necessities, and made sure I would have everything ready for his arrival.
I didn’t care about the stretch marks that were etching themselves over my belly, legs and breasts. I shrugged off the swelling and water retention that ballooned my hands and feet to the point that rings were no longer possible and I had to shop for shoes at least a size larger than normal. When I was ordered by my doctor to stay in bed for the last month of pregnancy, I did as I was told, and relished the idea of having more time to read more about how to take care of my baby and be the best parent I could be for him. I was blissfully happy, and said to my husband, “I’d like to have several more babies, and line them up in a row; I hope they’re as cute as you are.”
Married young
I’d known my husband since I was about 16. We got married when I was 24 and the following year I was pregnant. We had both wanted kids and talked about it, but looking back I would have to say it was me who wanted them more. I was fortunate and had a great pregnancy, even though from about 32 weeks I knew my baby was going to be breech, so a c-section was the only option (which didn’t bother me). I did put on weight – around 25 kilograms – which I know my husband didn’t like, but I honestly didn’t think there was anything wrong with our marriage.
A warning sign
When I was about seven months along, a red flag popped up. We were having dinner at his parents’ place in Sydney (we were living in Melbourne at the time), and a text message came through to his phone from a colleague that said ‘TOU’. I asked him what it meant, and he said nothing, that it was probably sent by mistake. I accepted that explanation, but later that night I texted a girlfriend of mine, asking what ‘TOU’ meant and she replied, “Thinking of you”. Still, being the young 24-year-old I was, I dismissed it, subconsciously ignoring the warning sign.
My baby arrives
My son was born at 4.15am on Friday the 2nd of November, right before the Melbourne Cup. My husband attended the birth but showed little interest afterwards, going to all the functions for Derby Day (Saturday) and Melbourne Cup Day (Tuesday), while I was still in the hospital with a nasty infection and our newborn, who also had jaundice. Despite how happy I was to be a mum, I was naturally upset about my husband’s social activities.
A shocking confession
It wasn’t until the following month, on Boxing Day, when my husband actually confessed to having an affair. Our son was about eight weeks old. At first, my husband told me it was some girl he met at the Sofitel Melbourne who worked in the bar, so I called his bluff and called the hotel in front of him and asked to speak to this so-called woman. Of course, no such person was working there. He later confessed that it was the same colleague that had texted him a few months back. He said he wasn’t in love with me anymore; he loved another woman, and they wanted to be together.
You think you know someone
My entire world was rocked. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my husband wrote a list of all things he didn’t like or love about me anymore. He didn’t like that I hadn’t lost my baby weight. It annoyed him that I hadn’t been to university and I didn’t have a degree. He also didn’t think I was motivating enough for him, and complained that when we went out for dinner that I ate all the food on my plate – he was used to dating girls that only ate half their meals!
Original post Reddit
My husband is leaving me for someone else. I’m nine weeks pregnant
He told me three days ago that he’s been carrying on with her and he’s going to divorce me for her. I’m nine weeks pregnant. He told me he’ll pay whatever maintenance the court sets and he is sorry he didn’t do it before I got pregnant. One of my colleagues has arranged an appointment with a solicitor for me. I have a job as a phlebotomist, a flat and my colleagues and family are lovely.
I know it will be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it right now though I am still in shock.
Update | i just found out my husband is leaving me after i give birth reddit
Our flat was a leasehold so I couldn’t just change the locks or bar my husband from the flat because it was in both our names. However he agreed to relinquish and the landlord agreed to keep me on as a tenant with a new agreement solely in my name. I’m employed so there was no issue with me affording the flat on my own. I did have questions about why I wanted to stay in the place I used to live with my husband. The flat is in a safe area and near my job and my family and with being pregnant on top of that the last thing on my mind is finding another flat.
Since I’m employed and earn roughly the same as my husband spousal support would not have been ordered. We have divided up and closed our bank accounts and my husband has collected his things from our flat. Our solicitors helped us in settling things and making it legally binding.
My husband agreed in writing that he will pay whatever child maintenance he is ordered to and that he does not want custody or to be part of our child’s life and all sole decision making will be left to me. My solicitor says he could change his mind in the future but his written statements and lack of interest will work against him especially since he also has a solicitor to advise him. I asked about removing his rights as a father but unless he does something such as abuse or I find another partner to step in the legal system will not just remove them. Also removing them would affect my ability to collect maintenance from him. i just found out my husband is leaving me after i give birth reddit
The woman he was carrying on with is also married but they have no children. It’s my understanding that as soon as the divorces are final the two of them plan to settle in Spain where my husband’s father retired to. That’s what his solicitor said anyways. Everything is legally settled so I am just waiting for the divorce to become final because that takes time.
the baby and I are healthy and my family, my friends and my colleagues have been lovely and supportive. I also appreciate the many lovely comments and messages I received here.
What To Do When You Feel Neglected By Your Partner After Having A Baby
You can blame those hormones, but there are other things to try and help.
After having a baby, it may be a seemingly simple thing that sends you into a quiet stew of resentment toward your partner. Maybe they offered a sunny, “Have a nice day!” before heading out the door to work. Maybe they innocently asked, “Are you OK?” as you quietly folded laundry. Maybe it’s an intrusive memory of taking your first steps after giving birth, your body throbbing in pain as you struggled to believe you might ever feel “normal” again. Any or none of these things could place you in the center of an emotional sandstorm so disorienting, you couldn’t imagine coming through the other side. i just found out my husband is leaving me after i give birth reddit
